Anxiety and Old Wounds: What Your Body is Trying to Tell You.

Anxiety takes many forms. For some, it shows up as a restless mind that won’t slow down. For others, it’s a tight chest, shallow breathing, or a sudden sense of dread. However it appears, anxiety often feels overwhelming—like it has more power than the moment actually deserves.

As Bessel van der Kolk writes in The Body Keeps the Score, trauma doesn’t just live in the past—it lodges itself in our muscles, our breath, even our heartbeat. That means our nervous system isn’t just responding to today; it’s often replaying an older wound that never had the chance to fully heal, activating the primitive part of our brain that protects us .

For example, an irate customer’s tirade over “no cheese” on a burger may trigger the ten-year-old version of you that once suffered verbal abuse or a hyper-critical parent. That old wound gets activated, and suddenly the adult version of you feels a surge of anxiety. The next week you dread the idea of going back to work. The body doesn’t distinguish between past and present. It reacts as if the original wound is happening again—because to your nervous system, it is.

I know this from experience. In my own recovery from PTSD, I learned how quickly old wounds can hijack the present moment. I’ve also seen it in the people I’ve worked with: the “trigger” in front of them is rarely the true source of their anxiety. It’s the echo of something deeper.

So what do we do with this? From a coaching perspective, the first step is awareness. Here are four practices that can help:

1. Notice the Pattern

When anxiety spikes, ask yourself: Does this reaction feel bigger than the situation?

That irate customer may not only frustrate you—it may transport you back to being a child dreading a parent’s harsh words. Noticing that your response feels “too big” for the moment is the first clue your body is replaying an old script.

2. Name it to Tame it.

Even saying to yourself, “This feels familiar” or “This might be connected to an old wound” gives you breathing room between the feeling and your reaction.

Naming the possibility that your body is remembering something old helps you step back from the spiral and see the situation with clearer eyes.

3. Ground Yourself

Simple practices—like slow, intentional breaths, walking outside, or writing down what you feel—signal to your body that you’re safe right now.

The angry customer in front of you may echo the past, but pausing to ground yourself reminds your body that this moment is different. You have choices, power, and perspective your ten-year-old self didn’t.

4. Choose Your Response

Once you’ve paused and grounded, you’re in a better position to ask: How do I want to show up in this moment?

Instead of reacting out of fear or shame, you can choose a calmer, more intentional response. That shift—from automatic reaction to conscious choice—is where growth happens. It may help to make a distinction between the old version and the new you; let the adult version of yourself take the reins.

Delving into the roots of anxiety can feel scary—but it’s also where transformation begins. You don’t have to do it alone. I’d be happy to sit down with you for a free 30-minute introduction to explore how coaching can help you navigate your own spiral of Becoming.